Don't read too much into the prodigious amount of alcohol on display. Ok, do.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Friday, March 25, 2005
The biggest enhancement to my quality of life comes from being above the strange wandery around guy who lives on the first floor and who's room is above my old room. SWAG is one of my housemates who keeps very late hours (dinner at 10.30pm, bath at 11.30-12.00am (a right bugger when it came to closing time and the need to go to the toilet. All I can say is thank goodness for the meadow behind my house), pottering in his room till 2.00am, then bed). In the middle of SWAG's bedroom is a floorboard that squeaks. It squeaks loud enough to wake me up. Being the sort of stress cadet that I am, I found it impossible to get to sleep when I knew this was coming. Could I get over this? Could I deal with it? Could I bollocks.
Now... Now I'm the one with the squeaky floorboard, I'm the one who is above him. I'm on top, as it were.... Mwahahahahaha!!!
But I am a merciful man.
In my beautiful room.
This is us punting on the Isis last summer. Anita is the one doing the work. Good girl.
Justice and Anita have been (HAVE BEEN?! Still bloody are!) very good friends to me. It grieves me to see them leave. However, I have always known that for Justice Oxford was only a temporary stop for him. He was just waiting for something. Fourteen months later he managed to convince Anita that he was the man of her dreams (she can be a bit thick sometimes) and it was time.
Even though it grieves me, I accept that for Justice there is a need to act on his name. Quite what that will look like is unknown. That unknown is somehow assuring.
In that time honoured line, it has been better to have shared life with him and Anita. Wherever they go will be the better for having them.
And he knows that I would have kicked his arse if he had stayed. Now piss off you beautiful and good man.
Monday, March 14, 2005
"I'm Maori so in NZ I will be expected to go to prison sooner rather than later. In Aussie it is seen as a God-given right that everyone owns their own homes/cars/playthings, and the incomes and costs support this. It's going to take a lot more than patriotism to lure expats back to NZ. I do not know anyone insane enough to work for a pittance, pay extraordinary rent, and then happily inform the family unit that in order for NZ to grow this family has to live like paupers."
Race relation reasons:
"I have a problem with the thought of living in a country where my children will be discriminated against because they are not defined by NZ law as belonging to the Maori race."
and education reasons:
"I'm no longer confident that NZ has world-class education standards, and the best schools here in New York City are very good. I want my daughter to have the best education."
Maybe I'm going against the grain, but none of these reasons have anything to do with the fact that three and a half years after leaving Aotearoa, I am still yet to return, and nor do I expect to return for at least another two. They are not remotely close. I'm not to naive to suggest that laziness might be a reason I'm still here, but it is a laziness that is rooted in a good. I'm still here because I have invested a hell of a lot into my community. This is a community of people that I love dearly (ok, some more than others ;-)), and I am not prepared to let them go. Staying here has nothing to do with money or education or race relations. It is simply because it is in Oxford that I have chosen to do life. Moreover, if I move back home, there are a whole lot of people that I am going to miss. I guess that makes me a little selfish. That aside, New Zealand made me who I am and gave me fantastic oppotunities to explore and grow and experience life. Do I feel obligated to repay that? I guess so, but I also have an affinity with paying things forward. I never left home to make my fortune, I left home to go and see some friends and to broaden my world view. That then grew into developing community. I'm pretty sure that if I had stayed at home I would be much better off financially. Instead, leaving NZ has cost me financially. the dollar has got stronger, I earn about the same as I would do in NZ and as a result, my student loan repayments have got that much harder. But then, money has never been what drives me. Which does (in an aside) present the question, what does drive me? I think Taylor Mali says it best in Silver Lined Heart:
"I’m for the courage it takes to volunteer
to say “yes, I believe in this and I will”
I’m for the bright side
the glass half full
the silver lining
and the optimists who consider darkness just another kind of shining.
I’m for what can be achieved more that for what I would want in an ideal world.
I’m for working everyday to make the world a better place
and not complaining about how it isn’t
so don’t waste my time
with your curses
on verses about what you are against, despise and abhor.
Tell me what inspires you,
what fulfils you and fires you.
Put your goddam pen to paper
and tell me what
Cheesy this may be, but I don't care.
"Some are happily settled elsewhere for life, some would like to come home but despair of finding a comparable job, and some will, eventually, return. I'm sure they have their issues with their birth country, but none of them are as embittered as some of the people who wrote to the Herald."
The bugger even made me feel homesick:
"We own a decent chunk of equity in a house only five minutes' drive from the centre of town; there's a beach around the corner and plenty of room to play. The schools, contrary to what you may have heard, are excellent. And it's home. I went to Pasifika on Saturday, and you can't do that anywhere else. And I'm sorry if this sounds wanky, but I'm not only in it for me. I want to be part of the story here. The scale of things means it's possible to do that, to actually make a difference."
In response, I offer this. (BTW, Russell, it doesn't sound wanky, however the use of that adjective does sound like my father). I don't get the little bit of equity near the beach, and last weekend I didn't go to Pasifika. Instead, I live two minutes walk from the Thames and on Saturday I did deliveries for Besom. In Oxford I also get to make a difference.
If it's ok with you, I am going to carry on loving my country but, as Taylor also put it, "I'm for admiration from afar."
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
"i am having a ball hanging out with this girl i'm seeing. we laugh likeI love this sentiment.
crazy and generally just have fun all the time. talk and get so open towards
this is what life's about. all the millionaire shit around me is generally
i would love to be rich, but not at the expense of my life."